14
Aug
2012
Moving on and Letting Go
Categories: Makeup Tutorials

 

Not to keep beating a dead horse, but I really wanted to write a follow up blog for you guys about how I’ve been doing since I last talked about my breakup. I know there are a lot of women out there going through or have been what I have, and may have trouble moving on and letting go. I want to reach out to someone who may be having a tougher time than I did. I want to help others.

A lot of people may not understand why I am so openly comfortable discussing this issue on the internet for the world to hear, let me explain.

This book helped me, A LOT. But honestly, I got halfway through it in 2 days, and I was already over it (and I don’t mean over the book itself) The thing is, when you realize your self-worth, you can get through anything. ANYTHING. You cry, you sulk, you get angry, let it all out. But at the end of the day, there are infants and children starving around the world, there are wives getting the lives beaten out of them from men who claim they love them, someone in this world lost their home, their job, their daughter, father, or son today or yesterday. All of these things happen in life and life STILL goes on. So there’s no way in HELL I will mourn the loss of a silly ass man. He is only a man, nothing more, and nothing less.

 

A viewer commented on my Breakup video and said something along the lines of I was lying for being so comfortable on camera and that if I wasn’t honest with myself it would catch up to me later. For one, there’s a time and place for all of the crying, hurt and anger, YouTube is not the right place for that. Two, some people handle situations differently than others. I for one know that once I’ve had it with something or someone, I’ve HAD IT. Done, finito. No questions asked. This isn’t the first breakup I’ve been through and it won’t be the last. People forget that I’ve been married before. Divorces are expensive, but breakups are usually (not always) cheaper and it’s often easier to just cut your loses and move on versus being tied to someone legally and on paper. Either way, life still goes on, and the breakup I went through is nothing compared to the things I’ve experienced in my 25 years of living, and THAT ladies and gentlemen is why I have been handling this so well.

 

Having an amazing support system helps. The fact that I was able to find these things out when I was visiting home on emergency leave and then had the opportunity to come back to Kuwait has helped A LOT too.

Space helps.

Prayer helps.

Staying BUSY as hell helps a lot. The fact that I have a job which includes 60-70 hours of work per week AND vlogging and blogging on the side weekly helps.

Whatever you do, rid yourself of any negativity and immense yourself in something you enjoy doing. After you’ve cried it all out and come to terms with the issue, of course.

 

THE biggest reason as to why I was able to get over my breakup so well? I believe my relationship ended a long time ago. Before I found out about the sideline chick, and the fact that she was pregnant with his child, ALL the signs were there. Every last one of them. I just didn’t know where the signs were pointing to. Trust and believe when I say this, a woman ALWAYS knows. Even when she doesn’t know, she just knows.

Something was wrong; there was an overwhelmingly loud voice in the back of my mind telling me “this man is not the one for you” I couldn’t understand why or where it was coming from, I couldn’t justify it, I had no concrete proof. But I’ve known well since the beginning of this year that mentally, phsyically and spiritually it was just time for me to move on. And so that’s what I began to do.

Months ago, in the midst of  my relationship I woke up one day feeling different. I loved this man, I literally thought I would marry him and have his kids someday. But as much as I did love him, I came to the realization that should something happen to us, life would still go on without him.

*all images courtesy of Google*

 

Of course nobody knew any of this was going on. Not even my closest family or friends. I always kept my relationship in a positive light, I never spoke negatively about it either. You just don’t do that. You don’t get to cheat in the midst of your relationship just because you feel it may be coming to an end either (for those that use that as an excuse to creep behind a partner’s back). I ride or die all the way through. And that’s exactly what I did. So when I found out my boyfriend of almost two years was cheating on me while I’ve been overseas and got another girl pregnant, THAT for me, ladies and gentlement was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was THE last straw. It was kind of like “oh you’re ALREADY f*ckin up and now I have to deal with THIS?! That is why it was so easy to drop it like a ton of bricks. And that’s exactly what I’ve done, and I haven’t looked back since.

 

” Sometimes God removes people from your life so abruptly so that you don’t hesitate to look back”

 

The one thing I want you to take away from this blog post is, to follow your heart. I know I know, it’s the typical thing to say in a situation like this, but that’s because it’s true! Your intuition is somehow, always right. I can’t explain how, or why. But if something doesn’t feel right, it’s not. Period. I am so blessed for all of the trials I’ve been through because they’ve made me who I am today. And if it wasn’t for my intuition I’d probably be in some pretty miserable places with some pretty miserable people.

Goodbye for right now doesn’t mean you still can’t have a happy ending.

Until next time my loves :) thank you for reading.

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  • http://theo@dorrannebeauty.com Theodora

    You’re such a strong woman and an amazing makeup artist! It’s only a matter of time till you find someone who’ll respect and love you. Hang in there! *muah*

    http://www.dorranne.blogspot.com

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  • Donna Fleury

    I just read your post and I am truly sorry for your break up. Let me start off by saying that I don’t know exactly how you feel, given that I did not see your youtube post, but I wanted to share my story with you. I met a man online in December of 2010 and truly believed that he was all that I was looking for (on paper). There were warning signs from the beginning: him being late for dates, disappearing for weeks at a time and reappearing as if nothing happened, ect. As our relationship began to blossom, things got to a faster pace. He already wanted to meet my parents way too soon, and when I told him to wait, he got an attitude with me like no other. We got into a big fight, and I began to realize that he was not the one I was looking for. Our relationship went back and forth for a year, and finally ended things in May of this year. I later discovered that not only was he recently married (a fact that he told me that he was never married) and had two children (to which he stated that he was adopted, and had no biological family in the picture) I was in shock, and angry that someone could lie and deceive people on such an epic level. Needless to say that many others had been scammed by him, and that they are putting their story out. I praise you for explaining that your break-up doesn’t have to be the end of the world, but can make you a stronger person in the outcome. Best of luck to you and all of your future endeavors. You will be blessed more than words can say.

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  • Dominique

    I really enjoyed reading this post Jackie It really help me out a lot dealing with the situation I’m in… Thank you do much

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  • atarah

    I always enjoy your vlogs and try to mimic your artistic makeup pieces but who would have known you were going through such?? It is because you kept going and didn’t let such a life changing situation change you. It is nice of you to share your story because it will truly help many and I know God has the right person for you. For some reason women were given that killer instinct and you are right when you say, even if we don’t now, we know, we have weird feeling that prompts us that something is up. I look forward to your other vlogs and may God continue to richly bless you!

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  • maccutie08

    Thanks for sharing your testimony. God is using you for great things. Be Blessed!

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  • natasha

    I know where your coming from girl, when i decided to end my marriage people were like expecting me to be on the floor and depressed or something but when you know, you know some people try to hold on to things that god himself is trying to end life goes on and so will we.. stay strong girl xoxoxo

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  • Ms. Jean

    Jackie, thank you for posting this. I have been holding on to someone that I KNOW is not the one for me. I needed to read this today. Thank you.

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  • http://Epiphanniea.blogspot.co.uk Epiphannie

    Everytime I read about this i just want to get you in a huge bear hug looool you have got to be one of the strongest ladies out there and i am so happy you know you’re self worth because if you feel like you are platinum and someone is treating you like you’re sterling silver . . .why should you mourn that??

    Epiphannie A: Beauty by a Disneyvore

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  • tyshelle

    Wonderful post Jackie, I really enjoyed it.

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  • Ebony

    Thank you……I dont have too much to say on your breakup but your post just made me open my eyes to my situation of how I need to let go and Let God do his work. I have been trying for 4 years to walk away from a situation that i know is not good for me…but when you have a child by someone its much more harder than i though it would be….I just know I have to let go and let God!!!

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  • Elle

    I loved this post and I too can relate. Except in my situation, I stayed around after the pregnancy of another female, trying to make it work. Dumb maybe, but at the time, I truly felt it was the best choice. But time went on, things got worse, and I felt so lost, confused, and dumb for sticking around. However, that was almost two years ago, and now I am truly stronger, happier, and have learned what I will and will not accept in relationships. Four months ago, out of the blue, I met one the most supportive, loving, and attentive men in the world. We are taking it slow and getting to know each other first before jumping into a relationship and I must say, this is working better for me. Time heals all wounds and once you give yourself permission to grieve and move on, when you least expect it, love will find you again. Trust me, I was not looking and God sent me an angel :)

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  • Tonya

    Jackie, I’m disgusted by your EX, however It’s a great thing, because God has a wonderful MAN for you. Boys play games, Men MAN UP!

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